Things changed
Hello people, what a long time is it? Well, i've been busy with my university life and LOTS has happened to me. I don't know which one I should start first and I don't know how to start. It is so weird to be back on keyboard lol i don't know why. So hiii, today is the last day of my semester break (summer break) and trust me, i'm not even ready to start my very last semester; semester 7.
So as i said before, lots has happened to me....
First things first, i think i lost someone in my life. I don't know what happened to us, i don't have any idea because things move too fast. The minute i knew, we were as we are now; stranger. I miss how things used to be. I miss being around with you, do stupid things together, late night conversations. You know, you were there for me when i needed you, when things get hard, when life fucked me up. You always there and asking me how i'm doing when clearly you know i'm not that okay. You understands me more than i understand myself. I do like you a lot, but i'm late. I don't realize this because i've been denying all these feelings. I thought it wasn't true. But when you are not there anymore, i realized, you are all i need. Sometimes i am so sureeeee that we were meant to be together. Well, people changed, and life must go on. Eventhough it is so hard for me to accept it, i know there's must be reasons behind all these but it is so sad knowing that we can't be that close anymore. Yeah, that life is all about right? People come and go
Days passed and i started to gain my strength back, continue with my life. I started with myself first. Yep, self improvement, to be better, to love myself more than i did, distract myself by keeping busy with study stuff and yeps i guess it is a success. I just got my result and it was not the best but alhamdulilah it is way better than last semester. Seeeeeee, Allah's plan is always the best hehehe
Don't worry, i'm one hell strong girl and happily moved on :)
-Qybsie
Butthurt
It is 6.33 am in the morning and I can't live in peace without writing this post. This post might hurts your feelings, but it even more hurts my feeling if I didn't post this out.
You know, how can some people can make other people feel so bad being themselves?!??? Like they just knew that I killed someone but actually I just did nothing. Seems like you are going to complain or exaggerating or whatever that shit called for me being myself? This is me and this is my life, I am not going to be someone else and I am not going to be someone you want me to be. I'm sorry, but if I did wrong, tell me. Advice me. Don't talk behind me. Don't perli. Don't make me feel so bad being myself. Because you know, deep down it really hurts!
I said "I don't give a shit" a lot but damn why do I have to take this seriously?!??? Because this is not the first time you did this. I am begging you, stop making people feel so bad being themselves. You are not even close to perfect pun.
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Things has been really different. I feel like I am not someone who I used to be anymore. So I guess, I am growing up right? I just want to be myself. Memang dari sekolah suka rebel, and now I just realized, I rebel for something I want it to be. I don't wanna be like everyone. If I can be like everyone, I am not special anymore. I want to be special. I want to make things different in my own way. And I'm still figuring out. You know, it's so hard to change to something better kan?
*peace*
Alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah. Whatever your result is, just be grateful. Well, Allah will give you more than you have if you always be grateful ^^ Well my result is not good like what I've achieved in semester 1 but it is way more than i expected.
Because all these while in semester 2....
Tak pernah langsung dengar kuliah kimia
Bila nak ponteng mintak izin lecturer since lecturer kimia adalah lecturer lab, tuto dan kuliah
Buat tuto kimia sampai chapter 5 walaupun sebenarnya ada 13 chapter
Bila time lab kimia, aku dengan Vee je buat experiment sebab semua orang nak study
Mesti korang rasa macam bapak awesome gila lecturer kimia kau. Hahahaha yep she is. Setiap kali kuliah mesti bawak jajan dan bagi dekat semua. SATU KULIAH. Kau tahu tak satu kuliah tu berapa ramai ha. Pastu dalam lab lecturer bawak muruku dan air. Setiap kali tuto buat dekat library sambil bawak roti. She is really sempoi!!!! Tapi yep, i feel really bad sebab cover semua 13 chapter time study week ha ha ha
Tak, aku tak bangga langsung dengan semua kejahatan yang aku buat sebagai seorang pelajar. Malah aku bersyukur. Life is all about learning your experience and fix everything back.
Ya Allah
Ya Allah, Ya Karim,
Please have mercy on me
Ya Allah, Ya Karim,
Please forgive me for the sins I committed in the past
And those I will commit in the future.
Ya Allah,
Have mercy on all the Muslimeen,
And guide them.
Guide me Ya Allah,
And guide my parents,
My siblings, my cousins,
My aunts and uncles,
Ya Allah,
I ask You to strengthen my iman and those around me.
I ask You to soften my heart
And to soften the hearts of the believers.
Ya Allah,
Forgive me for my shortcomings, for only You are perfect.
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me if I ever got too wrapped in a matter
That I didn’t have time to utter Your name.
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me for all the salat I missed
Because of ignorance or laziness,
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
For the pound I never dropped into the metal cup for the homeless man begging on the street.
Ya Allah,
Please spark the love of Islam in my heart and in the hearts of every single Muslim
Until it gets implanted in their children and their children’s children and so on.
Ya Allah,
I ask that You help me for I am weak
And will only grow stronger by Your strength,
So Allah please strengthen me
To fight Satan and his whispers.
And if I ever fell into his trap
And followed my desire,
Then sincerely forgive me,
For that displays not only my weakness,
But Your greatness as well.
Ya Allah,
Please lighten the punishment in the grave
For those before us and those after us.
Please Allah, lighten the punishment
And please shed light into every Muslim’s grave.
Ya Allah,
If I ever was too afraid
To stand up for Your deen
Because of what others would think
Then forgive me, for I was a fool for doing so.
Ya Allah,
Please protect me and each Muslim,
And protect especially the orphans and the widows.
Ya Allah,
Please strengthen the faith
Of the destitute Muslims around the world,
So they have hope to live.
Ya Allah,
If I ever forgot to do dua for even one suffering Muslim,
Then forgive me for then it is, as I haven’t done dua for the entire ummah.
Ya Allah,
Please be the light of my eyes, ears and heart.
Ya Allah,
Please be the light on the sides of me
And the light behind me
And the light in front of me.
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
For all the foul words I spoke
Either out of ignorance or
Because I was trying to be “cool”.
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
If I never stopped to think about You,
Due to “other important things”
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
For not having enough time
Or creating time for reading the Quran.
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
For listening to music
And watching movies and television
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
For all the yelling I’ve done
And the arguments I’ve been in.
For the only time
The voice should be raised
Is for Your praises!
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
For my disrespect towards my family,
Elders, siblings and so on.
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me for any backbiting I have been accused of,
Whether I did it consciously or unconsciously.
Ya Allah, Ya Rab al-Alamin,
Forgive me,
Forgive me for everything.
So for everyone,
Every single Muslim,
Dead or alive,
I do dua that You forgive them for all their sins.
Ya Allah,
Please please please
Help the suffering Muslims
of Kashmir, Palestine, Chechnya,
Bosnia, Gujarat, Nigeria,
Iraq, Afghanistan and everywhere around the world.
Please Ya Allah, make the Mujahideen victorious,
And let the beauty of Islam reign!
Ya Allah, give victory to the Muslims!
Ya Allah, please let true Islam reign!
Ya Allah, please increase our knowledge of Your deen and this world.
Ya Allah,
Please help us all and guide us,
For You are everything to us.
Ya Allah,
I cannot stress how much I ask for Your forgiveness and Your guidance.
Ya Allah,
I fear You
I fear You soooo much words cannot describe.
I fear the day when I will meet You,
And I WILL meet You.
When we are one on one,
And I have no one’s help or support.
No one can take the blame for me
Nor I for them.
The only thing I will have
Is a little book given to me by You
That has my deeds.
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me for my thoughts,
For even though I get sinned for my actions,
I cannot help but feel guilty for my thought
And I ask You to forgive me for them
And to clear my mind of any impurities
Until You become the only thing on my mind.
Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
If I ever did anything out of gain
For this life and not for Your pleasure.
If I did anything to “show off”
Then please forgive me for that.
Ya Allah,
I do dua that You grant us all God-fearing spouses
And grant us righteous children.
Ya Allah,
I do dua that You continue to strengthen this ummah until the Day of Resurrection.
Ya Allah,
Forgive me for whatever I have not mentioned,
For I am bound to forget
…but You,
through Your greatness…
You never forget.
Ya Allah,
Please grant all the Muslims Jannah-tul-Firdaus.
Ya Allah,
I ask that You shed Your mercy
On all the Prophets (peace be upon them)
And on all the Angels (peace be upon them).
Lastly, I do dua
You shed Your mercy
On the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him),
His family and companions.
I do dua that You grant Muhammad
The highest station in paradise.
Amin
